THIS MODERN WORLD

The influence I (and most everyone else) can have on the ever-greater catastrophe in the mideast is minimal. So why do so many people feel compelled to learn as much as possible about what’s happening? For myself, I’ve decided it’s so that in 2009 when terrorists set off the atomic device ten blocks from my house, I can—just before I turn into a puff of water vapor—shout “I understand EXACTLY why this is happening!”

Anyway:

1. Dennis Perrin imagines what would happen if Israel were Lebanon and Lebanon were Israel.

2. Jonathan Versen, who grew up partly in Beirut, says: “The Middle East is not a dream someone else is having”

3. Billmon reads the accidental transcript of Bush and Blair talking in Russia and thinks:

This is fascinating as well as terrifying. It suggests that Bush and his faithful water carrier both really believe their own bullshit…it’s hard not to be impressed with the level of delusion picked up by that treacherous microphone.

4. Chris Floyd: “…since we do live in a world dominated by vicious (not to say vacuous) sectarian folderol, we should at least try to deal with the actual reality in front of us, not the heat mirages thrown off by warring sects.”

5. Amal Saad-Ghorayeb points out some boring old facts:

The prisoners Hizbullah wants released are hostages who were taken on Lebanese soil. In the successful prisoner exchange in 2004, Israel held on to three Lebanese detainees as bargaining chips and to keep the battle front with Hizbullah open. These detentions have become a cause celebre in Lebanon.

6. Egypt’s Mahmoud Sabit sez: “In a Fragile Situation, Engage Hamas”

The world may be going to hell in a handbasket, but until we actually arrive I still have my usual deadlines — complicated this week by my new friend the contractor, who’s going to be spending a few days underfoot. So probably not much from me here for a couple of days. Co-bloggers are welcome to step up to the plate, if so inclined.

James Byrd had it bad, but at least he wasn’t a rich white man who died of natural causes :

“I am glad to have known Ken Lay and glad that he was willing to reach down and touch people like me,” said the Rev. William Lawson, pastor emeritus of Wheeler Avenue Baptist Church. “Ken was a rich and powerful man, and he could have limited his association to people who were likewise rich and powerful.”
. . .
Lawson likened Lay to James Byrd, a black man who was dragged to death in a racially motivated murder near Jasper eight years ago.

“Ken Lay was neither black nor poor, as James Byrd was, but I’m angry because Ken was the victim of a lynching,” said Lawson, who predicted that history will vindicate Lay.

For those of you who might be making the same mistaken comparison as Rev. Lawson, here’s a couple of pictures that might clear things up for you :

On the left is a photo of Kenneth Lay in handcuffs being led to the courtroom where he was being given his constitutional right to a fair trial for crimes he was alleged to have committed. On the right is a pair of black corpses hanging from a tree surrounded by a crowd of racist white people who seem to have viewed their senseless murders as little more than an excuse for a social gathering. Kenneth Lay died at his Aspen vacation home after having a heart attack. James Byrd died on a Jasper, Texas road after being dragged from a pickup truck until his head and right arm were ripped off.

You know the funniest part about Israel’s attacks on Lebanon and the likelihood of a much wider war in the mideast? Of course, it’s hard to choose because there’s so much funny about it. But I think the top contender clearly is that, before the invasion of Iraq, the people pushing war kept telling us how “the road to Jerusalem runs through Baghdad.”

In other words, invading Iraq would show the dirty Arabs—who only understand force—that we and Israel couldn’t be pushed around. Then the Palestinians would knuckle under in the West Bank and Gaza and we’d all live happily ever after.

One excellent example from a September, 2002 issue of the New Republic can be found here. As you’d expect, it’s written by Martin “I Have Literally Never Been Correct About Anything In My Entire Life” Peretz:

The road to Jerusalem more likely leads through Baghdad than the reverse. Once the Palestinians see that the United States will no longer tolerate their hero Saddam Hussein, depressed though they may be, they may also come finally to grasp that Israel is here to stay and that accommodating to this reality is the one thing that can bring them the generous peace they require.

You could go on citing things like this until the sun explodes. So I’ll just provide one more, from the website of a New York Republican activist. This deserves a Special Jury Prize for having been written in October, 2004:

Indeed the road to Jerusalem led through Baghdad. Without Saddam, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict can be solved under Bush’s second term. And peace can begin to spread in the region, backed by 3 Democracies.

Right on! Furthermore, with people as wise and informed as this in charge of our foreign policy, I see nothing but even greater success ahead!

ALSO: Be sure to read Dennis Perrin’s exegesis of the current embarrassing performance of liberal radio.

(Update: both posters have sold since I wrote this post, and the referenced announcement has been deleted.)

As you can see from the announcement above, I’m putting one more set of the NSA satire posters up for auction. (As noted above, this is the last time I’ll be making these available, so if you want either or both, bid early and often.) The reserve price for each poster is set at what its predecessor went for in the last auction. I’ve also put up a slightly higher Buy It Now price on each in case anybody’s too impatient to wait for the end of the auction.

And that’s where it gets interesting.

If you were online Tuesday night, and paying attention, you would have seen that these auctions went up at about 9:30 pm EST, and ended early through Buy it Now about two hours later. I had my doubts, when I saw this the next morning — the buyer had zero feedback and was using a yahoo email account. And had the unlikely name “Mike Nike.” But I went ahead and sent an invoice and waited.

No response.

Logged into eBay today and noticed that Mike Nike was “no longer a registered user.” Which made things easier for me — I was able to cancel out the auctions and relist them with a minimum of hassle as a result. I figured the buyer was either (a) a Republican fucking with me, or (b) somebody who had a few too many drinks on Tuesday night and woke up Wednesday morning with Buy it Nowers remorse.

Then I got an email from Mike Nike, with the subject line “Answer my questions and email me your full name and address and you mobile number.”

I agreed to pay the amount you want as buy it now any additional money for the shipping and handling. Here will go i am using this opportunity to inform you that the amount that will be on the moneyorder will more than your item fees.I don”t realy know the exact amount that will be.Because it will be issue by my client.and the reason of the over payment is that.the amount on the moneyorder has been signed already.And it is more than your item fees.so once you receive it.you must deduct your item fees and westernunion the balance money to my client manager in africa.the item is going to africa also the shipping and westernunion address will come with the payment.

There will be no problem about the shipment.I want you to responsible for it.also make sure you deduct ur item fees and westernunion any aditional money on the m/o once you receive it.and email me ur phone# asap today.
Below are the questions i have for you.

1)is the item in good condition?

2)is any westernunion location where you to send the balance money arround you?

3)can you make sure you get the m/o cash at ur bank the sameday you receive it?

4)can you allow me to send DHL for the pick up and complet the transaction the day you receive the
moneyorder?

If yes too all my questions.kindly email me back asap today so that the moneyorder can be send

…and suddenly it all made sense — I was dealing with a low-grade variation of the classic Nigerian email scam.

So consider this a public service announcement, especially you eBay users — I don’t know if this is already a commonly-known scam, but my guess is, as fewer and fewer people are willing to help “transfer fifty billion dollars out of my country,” we’ll see more penny ante stuff like this.

Oh, and by the way — on this auction, Buy it Now only works if you pay via Paypal immediately. Sorry, Mike Nike.