THIS MODERN WORLD

Atrios is wondering what it’s going to be. One thing to remember is that the original October Surprise happened behind the scenes, and, like dark matter, could only be deduced by a lack, rather than a presence. As it is alleged, certain Republicans, including the current President’s father, made contact with Iran and cut a deal so that the hostages would not be released until after the election. (They were released on the day of Reagan’s inauguration, shortly after his acceptance speech — and I distinctly remember thinking, at that moment, that the fix had been in.)

Today, the phrase October Surprise has come to mean something which is sprung upon the public in the waning days of the campaign — the surprise capture of Osama, a last minute presidential visit to Baghdad, that sort of thing. But — to quote Saint-Exupery completely out of context — sometimes the thing that is important is the thing that is not seen. An October Surprise could have just as much to do with what they try to keep from us as what they try to shove in our faces.

(Minor revision.)

If you conservatives are so incredibly offended that John Kerry would mention the mere fact that Mary Cheney is a lesbian — and let’s remember that this is hardly a state secret, given that Mary Cheney has been out of the closet for years and was in fact once employed as the lesbian and gay community liasion for Coors Brewing — but if that’s such an outrage, I’m assuming that you guys must be really really offended by what another politician recently said about Mary:

After saying homosexuality is “selfish hedonism,” (Alan) Keyes was asked if that makes Mary Cheney “a selfish hedonist.” “Of course she is,” Keyes told Signorile. “That goes by definition.”

I eagerly await your principled denunciation of Mr. Keyes.

I missed Jon Stewart’s appearance due to the Ohio trip, but it sounds like he really outdid himself.

STEWART: See, the thing is, we need your help. Right now, you’re helping the politicians and the corporations. And we’re left out there to mow our lawns.

BEGALA: By beating up on them? You just said we’re too rough on them when they make mistakes.

STEWART: No, no, no, you’re not too rough on them. You’re part of their strategies. You are partisan, what do you call it, hacks.

* * *

STEWART: I would love to see a debate show.

BEGALA: We’re 30 minutes in a 24-hour day where we have each side on, as best we can get them, and have them fight it out.

STEWART: No, no, no, no, that would be great. To do a debate would be great. But that’s like saying pro wrestling is a show about athletic competition.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: Jon, Jon, Jon, I’m sorry. I think you’re a good comedian. I think your lectures are boring.

STEWART: Yes.

CARLSON: Let me ask you a question on the news.

STEWART: Now, this is theater. It’s obvious. How old are you?

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: Thirty-five. STEWART: And you wear a bow tie.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

CARLSON: Yes, I do. I do.

STEWART: So this is…

CARLSON: I know. I know. I know. You’re a…

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: So this is theater.

CARLSON: Now, let me just…

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: Now, come on.

STEWART: Now, listen, I’m not suggesting that you’re not a smart guy, because those are not easy to tie.

CARLSON: They’re difficult.

(LAUGHTER)

STEWART: But the thing is that this — you’re doing theater, when you should be doing debate, which would be great.

BEGALA: We do, do…

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: It’s not honest. What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery. And I will tell you why I know it.

CARLSON: You had John Kerry on your show and you sniff his throne and you’re accusing us of partisan hackery?

STEWART: Absolutely.

CARLSON: You’ve got to be kidding me. He comes on and you…

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: You’re on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls.

* * *

STEWART: You know, the interesting thing I have is, you have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.

CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.

STEWART: You need to go to one.

The thing that I want to say is, when you have people on for just knee-jerk, reactionary talk…

CARLSON: Wait. I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny.

STEWART: No. No. I’m not going to be your monkey.

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: Go ahead. Go ahead.

STEWART: I watch your show every day. And it kills me.

CARLSON: I can tell you love it.

STEWART: It’s so — oh, it’s so painful to watch.

* * *

CARLSON: What’s it like to have dinner with you? It must be excruciating. Do you like lecture people like this or do you come over to their house and sit and lecture them; they’re not doing the right thing, that they’re missing their opportunities, evading their responsibilities?

STEWART: If I think they are.

(LAUGHTER)

CARLSON: I wouldn’t want to eat with you, man. That’s horrible.

STEWART: I know. And you won’t.

* * *

CARLSON: I do think you’re more fun on your show. Just my opinion.

(CROSSTALK)

CARLSON: OK, up next, Jon Stewart goes one on one with his fans…

(CROSSTALK)

STEWART: You know what’s interesting, though? You’re as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.

Full transcript here.

…or you can watch it here.

David Segal is a Green Party City Councilman in Providence, Rhode Island, and Chair of Greens for Impact. If you’re considering voting for Nader or Cobb this year, you should really pay him a visit.

There aren’t a lot of former Nader supporters on the bus this time. Even former running mate Winona LaDuke has endorsed Kerry.

2004 is not 2000. And if you refuse to acknowledge and adapt to a changing situation — well, gosh, does that remind you of anyone else we know?

More on this story, from a reader:

Hersh didn’t just tell his story at Berkeley. He also told it on “The Diane Rehm Show,” which NPR syndicates. The day Hersh was on the show (Friday, October 1) it was guest hosted by Steven Roberts.

Roberts, of course, is a contributing editor at US News & World Report as well as the husband of Cokie Roberts. So you’d assume that when he heard this, as a journalist he’d immediately think: god, I’ve got to find out more about this, from Hersh or any other way I can. And maybe I’ll even tell my wife about it, so ABC News can use its gigantic resources to cover this.

But no. When Hersh told the story, Roberts barely batted an eyelid. I’d say it’s beyond belief, except it’s not. But it really is an incredible indictment of Roberts, as well as Washington journalists generally.

Here’s a transcript of the exchange. It starts at about 12:25

HERSH: Two days ago, let me just tell you this, I got a call. I got this call, I’ve been getting these calls since My Lai. Guy in the field, officer — he’s got a unit, and they’re near a village, and they were told — the village was occupied by the insurgents. They were told to do something about it. So there was a group of Iraqis, they’d been very friendly with the guards around the granary. His men had gotten very friendly with these Iraqis. They were paid a few bucks each to protect the granary. It’s in the rural area on the way to Syria from Baghdad. When they were told to do something about it, another unit came in and began to kill all the guards who were very friendly with the Americans in front of this other unit. And this soldier’s an officer, tried to stop it. Couldn’t stop it. Tried to complain about it. Was told, “No, we’ve got a great kill, we’ve killed a lot of insurgents.” Remember body counts?

His concern was, he was so shocked and disillusioned he didn’t know what to do. Do you know what my advice I give him? Do nothing. You’ve made your complaint. Everybody knows you’re hot about. You’ve got a lot of guys there with a lot of weapons. Just keep it cool.

And that’s where we are. It’s so much like Vietnam.

ROBERTS: Probably the other thing you said to him was, “And call me regularly.”

HERSH: No — “when you get back.”

[Laughter]

ROBERTS: Seymour Hersh. His new book is called “Chain of Command: The Road from 9/11 to Abu Ghraib”…