First female Speaker of the House.

First Muslim in the U.S. Congress.

More gay candidates taking office in state elections than ever before.

First black state governor in Massachusetts history (and only the second in American history).

(This last reminds me of a shameful fact: when I was studying to enter Trebekistan, I memorized all of the black Senators in U.S. history. Do not be impressed — you can count them on one hand.)

Someday, we may even elect a gay Muslim black woman to something. I want to see this, just to watch Sean Hannity’s forehead burst open and his demons scatter across the floor.

(Hold on — do we even have any gay Muslim black women? Wait — yes. I found one. Run, “Tammy,” run!)