Don’t know why. Working on it.
All better now.
… but speaking of comments …
My nice quiet little corner of the internet has suddenly become a raucous party. Not sure how I feel about that, though you all seem like a pretty nice crowd. Only one real troll so far, and he/she was polite enough — but far too insistent. Here’s the deal: if this is a raucous party, it’s for me and my friends. If you’re going to barge in and demand to be the center of attention and generally behave like the loud drunk that no one invited, you’ll be eighty-sixed.
Also, a comments week rule arising from the Colbert thread: anyone who suggests that the host’s choice of a given topic is too frivilous when there are Serious Issues in the World To Be Solved will have their comment run through a pirate translator and reposted.
Sample comment: How can you waste time writing about your new book when there are children starving in the world?
Sample comment run through pirate translator: Yarrr! How can ye waste time writin’ about your new book when thar be sprogs starvin’ in t’ world?
Like that.
January 31st, 2006 at 4:50 pm
Same thing I said in the other thread… the pirate translator idea is nothing short of hilarity. I’m almost tempted to use it on myself, wherever it may be.
And thanks for opening up comments, here. I have no doubt my output here at work is going to plummet even further…
January 31st, 2006 at 4:52 pm
Ah, here it be…
“Same thin’ I said in t’ other thread… t’ pirate translator idea be nothin’ short o’ hilarity. I’m almost tempted t’ use it on meself, wherever it may be.
And thanks for openin’ up comments, here. I have no doubt me output here at work be goin’ t’ plummet even further…”
January 31st, 2006 at 4:54 pm
I wanted to use the Shizolater, but it doesn’t seem to be online anymore.
January 31st, 2006 at 4:56 pm
A word of advice about pirate translations (having programmed one myself) — it might lead to new euphemisms for personal things done in private. It’s an awesome responsibility.
Hilarious, but awesome.
January 31st, 2006 at 5:06 pm
Todd J (or Tom T)
Can you post the link to the Pirate Translator?
Thanks!
CVA
January 31st, 2006 at 5:07 pm
There’s one here:
http://www.fissio.com/pirate.pl
type into the box and then click ‘ahoy’.
January 31st, 2006 at 5:08 pm
Thanks! Gracias! Obrigado!
January 31st, 2006 at 5:10 pm
(I am here at work, after 5:00, to comment how much I love that you’ve opened up the comments…because I care.)
Eeeeexcellent. Thanks, Tom!
January 31st, 2006 at 5:16 pm
Yarrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
January 31st, 2006 at 5:18 pm
Or you could take those posts thru a Disemvoweller Device…
January 31st, 2006 at 5:22 pm
The World of Tomorrow is here today!
January 31st, 2006 at 5:34 pm
I just wanted to express my enthusiasm for the comments, and your site in general.
The pirate-translation idea is hilarious, btw.
January 31st, 2006 at 5:35 pm
f— the Babbelfish.
Piratespeak should be the new international standard. :p
January 31st, 2006 at 5:45 pm
The Pirate thing RULES. Another fun thing to do with troll posts is to run them through babel-fish into another language (doesn’t matter much which one) and then process them back into English. The result is often a barely-intelligible mix of bad grammar and unrecognizable words that… well, hmmm. I guess with troll posts, there’s really no point in going to all that trouble– they’re usually like that already…
Oh well. Nevermind.
January 31st, 2006 at 6:13 pm
I also want to encourage you to maintain the party. Trolls can be handled by the crowd, or ignored easily enough. Watch the comments board at Reason.com for an example of the range of well thought out to idiotic can be blended in a single thread. They have a thread on healtcare right now that could use some perspective from the socialized end of the social-private solutions to healthcare crowd.
January 31st, 2006 at 6:15 pm
“If you’re going to barge in and demand to be the center of attention and generally behave like the loud drunk that no one invited, you’ll be eighty-sixed.”
the ideal way to run *any* internet community….two thumbs up!
January 31st, 2006 at 7:15 pm
I would further recommend that, like that bastion of on-topicness and rational conversation Fark.com* does, you replace the text of anyone posting any juvenile “first post” shenanigans with one simple word:
Boobies!
* (cough)
January 31st, 2006 at 8:37 pm
Actually, Fellini, I would argue that, in the spirit of fairness (and to do something just as funny), we change it to “ballsack.”
Can you imagine the hilarity of “This is my ballsack on thismodernworld” ???
January 31st, 2006 at 8:44 pm
Have enjoyed your column (This Modern World) since ‘94. Now I read your website, as well. Looking forward to you comments on the SOTU, but can’t actually watch Bu$h personally, due to acute nausea and vomiting on hearing his voice.
January 31st, 2006 at 8:48 pm
the usage of pirate speak always elevates a thread to genius-level, required reading. it’s just the way things are…. and I hope Colbert finds his testicular appendage soon, because I would LOVE to watch the exchange….
January 31st, 2006 at 8:51 pm
This one also does websites. There’s a few at the official International Talk Like A Pirate Day site.
January 31st, 2006 at 9:03 pm
Patrick Mercer, do you think the SOTU would be less nauseating filtered through a pirate translator?
“Mr. Speaker, Vice President Cheney, members o’ Congress, distinguished citizens an’ swabbie citizens…”
January 31st, 2006 at 10:08 pm
Heh, I like the pirate translator idea. Another option is to follow Teresa Nielsen-Hayden’s lead and “disemvowel” trolls, although frankly I think that gives them more attention because it forces people to read their comments even more closely. :)
January 31st, 2006 at 10:13 pm
If you really wanted to scare people you would use the AOLer translator, not the pirate one.
January 31st, 2006 at 11:30 pm
I recommend that any trolls be refrred to as sprogs.
mateys
January 31st, 2006 at 11:37 pm
I got caught playing sock puppet games, so my message was wiped.
January 31st, 2006 at 11:47 pm
I got caught playing sock puppet games, so my message was wiped.
February 1st, 2006 at 1:04 am
Just passing through-gas and monkeybread-fish have already defined, without evidence, what defines a troll-who-will-have-their-speech-transmorgified (sic) into FSM/pirate talk. Thanks guys. I *was* curious.
Myself, am just happy to read comments from fellow travelers after all these years of enjoying TMW, regardless if the comment-rabble buys the new book or not (I don’t recall there being a password based on ISBN, but maybe I wasn’t paying attention)
February 1st, 2006 at 1:37 am
Oh. There is the translator.
“Yarrgh. I don’t know what I’m doin’!” - Sea Captain
February 1st, 2006 at 6:46 am
Hey monkeybread and passing through -
www.blogspot.com.
Go there, and ten minutes later, you can have your very own blog dedicated to solving world hunger or whatever.
February 1st, 2006 at 8:45 am
I got caught playing sock puppet games, so my message was wiped.
February 1st, 2006 at 12:07 pm
Keep it up, sir, keep on keeping on. You brighten my day. I am not alone. You say/draw what I am thinking. We can cry, yell, or laugh. When young, we cry, when middle age, we yell, when wise and older, we laugh. I’m finally laughing.
February 1st, 2006 at 6:20 pm
Note to readers: there were several comments in this thread that were pretty critical of me. I was going to leave them up — did for most of the day, in fact. Wasn’t even going to run them through the pirate filter, to be honest. But I got to looking at the site stats and I realized that I had somebody playing sock puppet games with me (i.e., posting under multiple identities from the same IP address). Now, I admit, I’ve never had comments before, and I’m kind of making this up as I go along — and I should say, I’m delighted by the civility that 99.9% of you are demonstrating. But I got to thinking about this, and I decided that while it’s fair game to be critical here — as long as you’re polite — I’m not under any obligation to give bandwidth to the comments of somebody who was trying to deceive me (and you). So they’re gone, and the thread’s closed. Hope that’s okay with the rest of you, and I hope you’ll excuse me as I stumble my way through and try to figure out the best way to deal with stuff.